Thursday, November 17, 2011


So... Okay.  Here's what is going through my mind and soul right now.

A few months ago, the director of Nate's school let us in on an opportunity for this handicap accessible bathroom giveaway that Fox 4 Love Fund and this construction company are doing.  Your family has to be nominated by a "certified youth professional".  We have been crossing our fingers because this is part of the addition/remodel that we started this last June.  We are to the point of almost no money leftover to comfortably do the bathroom without putting it on credit.  Well, yesterday they posted pictures of a few of the nominated families.  I browsed through them, and the more I read about these kids and their families, the more I realized that they all need it more than us.

I'm so torn, because this is something that would be AMAZING for us... but we are PREPARING for what life is going to come to.  We are ahead of the game.  These other families have struggled for years.  My heart and soul is slowly coming to a scream of "Please let someone else receive this!"  But of course, another big part is saying "WE need this!"

I have a friend who desperately wanted to nominate us for extreme home makeover on ABC.  She thinks we are just SO deserving.  I appreciate that and felt honored, but the same part of me that wants another family to receive this bathroom felt that there are MANY other families whose life situations need that more than us.

We have a nice, warm, little home.  It's NOT falling down around us.  We have no health hazards because of our home, no risk of injury.  Craig and I both have jobs that are, thankfully, not in jeopardy of lay offs.  We don't make tons of money, but we get by without too much trouble.  We have cars that are paid for and have no chronic mechanical issues (as of now).  Nate is, for the most part, healthy.  Everything we go through with Nate is due to his illness 3 1/2 years ago.  But, he's not life threatening in the health department.  Thank God.

So, I know we will make this bathroom and remodel happen.  With or without help.  It's too bad that EVERYONE who needs this can't have it given to them...  I'm really struggling in my heart because I know we need it and it would help out so much.  It would give us the opportunity to spend this money we are saving for other much needed modifications to the home for little Nate. I do NOT believe we even have a real chance for the giveaway to come our way because the other stories I read are somewhat heartbreaking.  I'm sure their situations out way ours in the "powers that be" choosers of who receives the bathroom.  It kinda makes me sad.  We in a way kinda got our hopes up, but I really do feel like someone else needs this more than we do.  Darn it...

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