Thursday, September 30, 2010

Super Powers

Who wishes they have super powers?


I wish for super powers.... Powers that can make me invincible, powers that I could be in two places at one time, ones that can help me know what others are thinking.

Think of being extraoridinarily fast... wouldn't that be something?  You could do your job, take care of your kids, clean your house, run your errands...

Think of knowing what others are thinking... you could stop them in their tracks with answers to their un-questioned questions.  You could help them with their needs in their lowest times.  Their lies would be unspoken truths.

Think of being invincible... you could flatten bullets.   You could stop the train from derailing, you could save your family from an unthinkable fire.

If only these powers truly existed.

I wish for powers to turn back time.  To change the days that I regret.  To take back the moments that haunt me in my sleep.  To rotate the decisions I made to make the hurt disappear.

I wish for powers to heal...  To disembody those diseases that live in those we love.  To re-write the brain to forget the words that reshaped our futures in a negative way.  To calm the anguish of the mind in times of unthinkable dispair.

I wish for powers for speed... To make it to every appointment on time.  To be at every rite of passage for my children.  To finish work early so I could eat dinner with my adoring husband.  To get the jobs done that need done, so I could enjoy my life.

Enjoy my life...

These are things I wish for, but really I should be PRAYING for.  These are things that keep me awake before sleep envelopes me.  These are things that I KNOW are things that every mother dreams of.  Things I know that circulate the air when your getting your hair done and knowing that you should be at home doing laundry.  Or maybe your having a playdate with your son/daughter and you dread the list of "do's" on your list that you have yet to check off.  Instead of enjoying our lives, we live in a world of what we should do, accomplish, and of what others expect of us.

How can we be the people we strive to be.... when there is a hurricane surrounding us? 

I don't have the answers, that's not what this is about.  This blog is about noticing our insignificanties.  It's about bringing them to the surface, so we can think on them, ponder... pray.

There are many days, days that I don't feel I am who I need to be.  For my husband, for my children... for myself.  EVERY NIGHT before I fall asleep, I pray a "Hail Mary".  I'm praying to the Mother of GOD.  I pray for her to give me strength as she only knows how.  I pray that she can show me the way to be the woman I want to be, the mother I want to be. 

Those who know me or might know me by a casual interaction, would probably say I'm pretty together.  Or that I'm doing the "best I can".  I'm doing what my gut tells me.  Sometimes my gut is DEAD WRONG and all I can say is "that sucked".  But sometimes my gut says, be who you always wanted to be, imagine you can be a super hero, make everyone's day, bring solace to dispair... leap tall buildings in a single bound.

We all could do it.... right????

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

New Blog Time!!!

So, I'm here to post pure ramblings and thoughts and updates and little bits of nonsense just for my own reliefs, or for my own amusement, maybe a few other people's... I find I have a lot to say if I just sit and write.
This will be nothing really like the old "Team Nate Dog" blog, because I want this to be more of a FAMILY blog, something I can look back at in later years and remember feeling this way, or remember a specific time, or a funny quote one of my kids said, or maybe to unleashed pent up rage and frustration.  If anyone chooses to follow this.... hang on, I'm not sure if anyone could be ready for this!!!  Somedays I'm not.
I will try to post pictures here and there, but really I'm planning on this just being more of an outlet for my thoughts... I apologize in advance!